The Ulster Scots are no great yins for the aul politics: I jalouse it's jest no in oor nature ava. Hooaniver, I hae taen a wee notion for it noo that I'm on the aul "Twitter", an aa the folk on there ken sae much aboot it.
Sae, I was garravashin aboot the aul interwab yin day a wheen o weeks back, an I foond a clatter o folk yarnin aboot somethin caaed "Prime Meenister's Questions". I speired a wee aboot it an yin o the hallions taul me it was tae dae wi the aul " Politics" an you could hae a keek at it on the aul TV. Weel, I took the notion tae hae a wee keek at it mysel, sae I foond it on yin o them ootby channels (it was ayont the the channels whaur you get the footbaa, but no sae far as the yins whaur the coorse lookin lassies are aye getting their diddies oot). Onyway, the Prime Meenister's Questions was nane o thon type o cairry on ava.
Japers, but it was a quare geg aathegither! It's aboot a wheen o eejits caaed MPs, wha bide in an eldrich biggin, kin o like a castle, caaed Westmeenster. They aa thrang thegither tae blether an yarn aboot a mixtur-maxtur o things, an happenins in far awa places.
There's yin o them caaed Cameron, wha seems tae be the high heid yin. I jaloused at the first, on accoont o his name, he maun be a Scotch hallion, but his way o spakin was even mair daft nor the Scotchies - I could hairdly unnerstaun a wurd oot o him ava. He soonded like a desperate coof, an he had a quare big skeenkly heid on him forby. Forenent that jinny Cameron, there was a gansh caaed Ed Moribund, wha was a bit o an ornament himsel (nae hairm tae him). They clacked awa amang themsels an let on they didnae like like yin anither, but you could aye tell they were thick as thieves.
An the baith o them had a quare wheen o freends wi them ana: an sic a rake o crabbed, carnaptious getts you hae niver clapped een on in aa your days! They aa clocked on benches an maist o them were sic glunterpuddins that a wheen o ithers had tae staun the haill time. But the gulders an yukes o them wasnae normal: a Wednesday efternoon, an they were like ony crew o daft baists doon the clachan pub o Saiturday nicht!
Noo I'm no saying that it wasnae a good crack - they were haein a wunnerfu time by the looks o them. Hooaniver, I jaloused I'd be scunnered tae hae onything tae dae wi the likes o thon, ither than tae hae a bit o a snichter at their clishnaclaver. Whan I turned aff the TV, I thoucht tae mysel that I'm hairt gled that the folk o Ballygellick dinnae pay ony mind tae sic daft whigmaleeries as "Politics".
